by Katherine Pranic
For many people, the holidays create anxiety — we’re managing work deadlines, social events and family gatherings. When you combine this with a diet-obsessed culture and a season that seems to revolve around food, it can be a triggering time for many people, especially those living with an eating disorder.
Eating disorders are a serious mental illness, and more common than you might think. Approximately 9% of Australians will experience an eating disorder at some point in their life. Right now, around 4% of the Australian population is experiencing an eating disorder. To put that into perspective, that’s about a million people living with some form of the illness, including binging, purging, fasting and disordered eating. An eating disorder is typically marked by an inordinate focus on food that dominates thoughts and actions.
You can’t tell from looking at someone if they have an eating disorder — the illness doesn’t discriminate on the basis of gender, age or cultural and socio-economic backgrounds. Sadly, the mortality rate for people with an eating disorder is over 12 times higher than for people without an eating disorder.
For 35-year-old Josie Schwarzer, growing up with an eating disorder was about exercising control. “My anorexia started when I was 13 and progressed to bulimia, which lasted until I was 19,” she shares. “My eating disorder was about gaining control over my life when, as a child, I felt like I had none. Puberty started early for me. My body changed rapidly and the changes overwhelmed me, especially the unwanted attention I gained. My parents also divorced, so my decision not to eat was about gaining control over the situation.”
With the holidays revolving around feasts of food, it can be a difficult time of year for someone with an eating disorder, or even in recovery. For some there are strong temptations to binge on festive leftovers, and for others there can be strict calorie counting of menus, or compensatory behaviour like excessive exercise to make up for food consumed. Regardless of how the eating disorder manifests for an individual, there are lots of reasons why people can find the holiday period stressful.
“Christmas was absolutely horrible,” reflects Josie. “There was always pressure and attention on me and constant feelings of shame during the holiday period. I felt shame for the way I looked, shame for when I ate, shame for what I ate. Not to mention the shame when I didn’t eat.”
Psychologist and manager of the Butterfly Foundation’s National Helpline, Juliette Thomson reports, “feeling high levels of anxiety and fear due to increased social activities, particularly events around food over the holiday period is very common.”
The festive season’s obsession with celebrating with food can also be challenging, especially when there is an excess of food; and in an already diet-obsessed culture. “My illness also made me feel anxious and guilty about eating big meals and I’d usually engage in excessive exercise or purging post celebrations,” says Josie.
Even if someone is recovering from an eating disorder, they’re still vulnerable. “The recovery journey is really tested with increased social activity around food, in addition to a potential break in regular support from therapists if they take holidays,” says Thomson.
Josie recalls one Christmas, “a family member made comments about my body and how I had gained weight. It completely ruined the joy of getting together with family to enjoy a meal.”
It’s worth noting that feeling anxious about upcoming holiday meals is normal. Acknowledging those feelings and putting strategies in place is a good first step to manage the holiday period. Thomson’s first suggestion is to come up with a plan for how you’re going to tackle big social days and events. “A therapist can help you come up with a list of common eating disorder thoughts and feelings that may come up for you, and together you can come up with helpful recovery thoughts to counteract each one,” says Thomson.
Putting together some relaxation strategies before you become anxious or triggered is also recommended. “Write a few ideas down, which you can refer to if you need. One good one is a focused breathing exercise where you inhale deeply and slowly exhale, releasing the breath over 10 counts,” says Thomson.
Yoga Therapist, Nikola Ellis from Adore Yoga also notes the rising popularity of yoga in helping to treat eating disorders. “Yoga asks us to pay close attention to physical sensations, thoughts and emotional fluctuations, and to do this without criticisms or judgment, which can be helpful in improving body satisfaction and a person’s relationship with food.”
When working with people in a clinical setting Nikola suggests “muscle relaxation exercises, like progressively tensing muscles and then actively releasing them, as well as focused breathing to help manage stressful social settings.”
Don’t be afraid to lean on people you can trust. Thomson suggests “write down a list of support people you can reach out to, like our Helpline which is open every day except Christmas and Boxing Day and New Year’s Day.”
Family and friends also play a vital role in supporting loved ones who are living with an eating disorder, especially during the holiday period.
One important reminder is to avoid making comments on anyone’s appearance or what they’re eating. Josie recalls, “it would be horrifying for me to have someone say things like, ‘are you going to have seconds?’ or ‘you look healthy at the moment’.”
CEO Belinda Caldwell from Eating Disorders Victoria suggests mitigating unhelpful comments before the family event, “you can send out a group text message advising that ‘someone in the family is recovering from an eating disorder and we’d appreciate people not talking about anyone’s appearance, food choices or fad diets’.”
There are steps that family can take to really support the person suffering. “If they’re open to discussion, support them to work out a plan of action, and how they may respond in a healthy way if the eating disorder thoughts and feelings start to take over on the day, which may include agreed signals by relatives that can let you know that they’re struggling,” suggests Thomson.
“Also remember that if your loved one does find it extremely hard during social events, don’t personalise their behaviour and remember that it’s the eating disorder which is influencing their thoughts, feelings and behaviour.”
Despite what it might look like, the holidays are about more than just food. Try and focus on non-food activities, such as taking the time to connect with loved ones, play board games, go for leisurely walks, or spend time watching a favourite holiday movie.
And if you do experience a setback, remind yourself it’s not the end of the world. Try and put it behind you and keep moving forward.
For help and support call the national support line: 1800 33 4673 or email: support@thebutterflyfoundation.org.au
Katherine Pranic is a freelance writer based in Sydney. Connect with her on Instagram or LinkedIn.
